Here’s what I mean – this is a time of year shaped largely by magical concepts.  A days’ worth of oil lasting, magically, long enough to keep the menorah lit in the temple for 8 days; a virgin birth bringing with it, magically, hope for the human race mired in its own darkness; and, on a lighter note, an older and out-of-shape gentleman with questionable fashion taste thoroughly committed to doing something generous and loving for children worldwide and to do it, magically, in one night.

Your sense of the validity behind these concepts aside, they have remained in place for many generations because we need the magical; we need something beyond ourselves, beyond the average, day-to-day experiences of life to give us a sense of greater meaning and larger purpose.  We need the practical as well, but we must not dismiss the realm of the magical.

Life is magical.  Look around you; notice the various expressions of the life force that fill your day.  Take a moment to notice, really notice and take in, the natural beauty that surrounds you, no matter where you are.  The very fact that we exist is magical, or mystical, or something that goes far beyond our ability to grasp.  Yet many learn early in life to dismiss anything that smacks of the impractical, and that dismissal is deadly.

It is the magic of your dream, your goal, which fuels your practical actions toward that dream.  And it is the practical action that puts legs on your dream and gives it shape and form.  Practicality devoid of the magical quickly becomes either lifeless and inflexible, or exhausting and unrewarding (or all of the above).  The magic of the dream without practical action to make it happen results in a dream that continues to feel out of reach and frustrating.

However, merging the magical and the practical allows us to ensure lives filled with passion, power, and possibility (not to mention profit).

We need the magical because it allows us to continue reaching for the greater and greater experience of all that is our birthright as expressions of the Divine.  We need the practical because that’s what makes things happen.  However, this is not an either/or proposition; we are called to merge the two in order to have lives of unlimited possibility.  Think about it – it is the removal of the idea of limitation that lets us take possession of everything that’s truly available to us.  That seems pretty magical. . . . . .

Make the choice to live the magic of your dreams while taking inspired actions to make those dreams a reality, and 2012 can be more powerful, passionate, profitable, and joyful than you have ever imagined.

 As women, we carry naturally a huge range of gifts intended to bring balance, harmony, and compassion to the planet and to every situation in which we find ourselves.  If you attended my recent live event, Women as Leaders, Women as Healers, you may remember the conversation we had about those gifts and how bringing them, without apology, to the world changes everything, and about how holding back (and apologizing for who we are) serves only to keep the planet (and ourselves) stuck in imbalance and scarcity.

 Among all those brilliant and life-enhancing gifts, however, there often lurks a tendency that may masquerade as a gift, but that in reality is simply another way we dishonor ourselves.  That tendency is the willingness to settle, to accept less than we deserve and are capable of, and then to tell ourselves that we should be thankful for all the “less-than” things in our lives and we shouldn’t want more.

This, my dear friends, is what I think of (with great respect of course) as a crock.

Here’s what I mean – it seems that many of us have learned to expect disappointment and limitation, if not downright failure, as we move toward what we say we want.  It seems, as well, that many of us have learned to tell ourselves that whatever we have accomplished is as good as it gets.  And that’s the point at which we tend to stop, to tell ourselves that we’ve reached the end of what’s possible for us and it’s time to settle for the status quo and quit moving forward.  And then our dreams begin to wither and starve.

That idea that there’s a limit to what’s possible for us comes from feeling small and unworthy of great and consistent success and it is, frankly, a lie.  It’s a lie that there’s a limit to what you get to be/do/have, and it’s a lie that you’re small and unworthy.  If you buy into those lies, your life and your work will reflect that untruth.

If, however, you refuse the lie and welcome the eternal understanding that you are an expression of the Divine and your opportunities are unlimited, everything you experience will reflect that truth.

There’s a poignant story about a man who found a rich vein of ore that was making him good money.  He got excited about the possibilities, bought expensive mining equipment, and began working the vein with a lot of passion.  Then it seemed that the vein dried up; nothing more was being found and he began losing money.  At that point he told himself that what he had gotten was as good as it gets and he sold his equipment and went home, disappointed and humiliated.  Later the individual who had purchased the land from our “let’s settle for less than we want” friend hired a geologist to explore the area.  The geologist came back to him with the news that the vein had not disappeared, but had simply moved about 3 feet over.  He resumed the drilling that the prior owner had begun (but in a slightly different location), hit the mother lode and became a very wealthy man.

Where, in your life, have you stopped a mere 3 feet from your goal?  Where have you said “I can’t; it’s too hard; I don’t have the money or the time; it’s not working; no one understands – my situation is different; what if I try and fail?” or any number of other “I think I’ll just settle” statements?  Where have you told yourself that it’s important to make peace with what you have and quit trying for more, when what you really meant was “I’m scared; I’m not sure I can pull this off”?

Of course we must be grateful for what we have at every moment.  That doesn’t mean that we stop the process of growth.  In his remarkable book, The Science of Getting Rich, Wallace Wattles states that every time we want more it’s the life force seeking to express itself in greater ways.  Who are we to get in the way of that divine expression?

Someone once said (sorry, I don’t remember who it was) that when we settle for less than we want, we end up getting even less than we’ve settled for.  I’ve lived that one, and I’m not willing to give the small-minded process of settling another moment of my time or ounce of my energy.

Where do you stop yourself?  What if your success is only a step or two away?

Only 3 more days at the Early Bird price ($147) – we go to full price ($197) on Saturday, October 8.  Join us for a life-and-planet-changing experience before the price goes up.   www.thinkinglikethebigdogs.com/small

As seems to be the case in SpongeBob’s world (and my own), circumstances were all
over the map, things happening that could have left a weaker, less hopeful
sponge wailing about how unfair, how difficult, life is.  Our hero, however, was proclaiming over and over (I still can’t get it out of my head) “This is the BEST day EVER!”  And what occurred to me in a flash was a quote from Shakespeare’s play Hamlet – “There is nothing neither good nor bad, but thinking makes it so”.  Now, I doubt that SpongeBob and the Bard were ever drinking buddies, but they seem to have reached a similar and profound understanding – how you think is what you get.

SpongeBob was doing something I urge my clients (and myself) to do routinely –

look for the gift in whatever is happening.
Now I doubt that this was a philosophical or spiritual thing for him;
however the result was the same.  His day was just a period of time that was open to interpretation.  Was it the best day or the worst?  Were his charming yet odd experiences positive or negative?  Were they disasters or exciting challenges? How many different ways could he rise to those challenges?  What was there in the
day that was the gift for him?

The
power of all this lies in the fact that he, like the rest of us, got to choose
his interpretation and then react to it.
He could have been miserable, but he wasn’t.  He could have been stressed and overwhelmed
by his circumstances, but he wasn’t.
Now, I grant you that this is a cartoon and life is somewhat different
(and wetter) in his world than in our own.
But the lesson seems to be the same for us all.  Our experiences can be looked at,
interpreted, and reacted/responded to in any number of ways.  If I may paraphrase the Bard, the way you
choose to think about and understand your experiences determines your internal
state.  The only real limitation to
your success lies in the way you’re thinking about what’s possible.

 I have just come from a funeral of a family friend where that that bit of wisdom
was apparent.  This was a man truly loved by not only his family, but his church, his community, his former co-workers.  And the service held to remember him was truly a celebration; lots of laughter, stories, tender memories.  Those who had loved him had chosen to think about his passing in light of his living, and in doing so honored him with a party.  It could have been so different, mournful, dark, hopeless; however the choice was made to celebrate, and that choice changed everything.

Try this – the next time you find yourself sliding into a negative or limiting
perspective, ask yourself “how else could I look at this situation? What if I
see it as filled with beauty?  What if it’s a creative challenge?  What if I chose
to find the humor in it?  What are the other possibilities beyond what I’m currently seeing?”  Change your perspective, and you change your world.

Betty Williams was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize in 1976 for her role in establishing a peaceful society and promoting a peaceful resolution in Northern Ireland. Other honors and awards won by her include People’s Peace Prize of Norway, the Schweitzer Medallion for Courage, the Martin Luther King Jr. Award, the Eleanor Roosevelt Award and the Frank Foundation Child Care International Oliver Award. She was awarded the Rotary Club International “Paul Harris Fellowship” in 1995.

When Ms. Williams learned about Women as Leaders, Women as Healers, she was immediately available to make a strong statement about the intention of the event, and the role women are called to play not only in their own families and communities, but also in the global community.  Her interest in
this event speaks volumes about the current call to action for women
everywhere, a call we can’t afford to ignore as we continue to witness the
range of damaging and often dangerous issues that plague us, both locally and
globally.

It’s time for women to remember who they REALLY are, and to step firmly into the role of Wisdom Carrier, Spiritual Advisor, Healer, and Leader that has been the role of the feminine since the beginning of time.  That role hasn’t changed; it’s our memory of that role that has weakened.  When we remember what we are
here to do, and when we have real clarity about purpose, direction, and about
the individual and collective message we have been honored to bring to the
planet, it’s at that point that genuine healing and transformation can begin.

Join us on October 15 and 16 in Denver, Colorado for Women as Leaders, Women as Healers: find your power, change the world.   Connect with other women of like mind, create powerful collaborations, and unite with us all to become a force that is undismissable. www.thinkinglikethebigdogs.com/small

As we spoke, she made the statement that all the efforts she’d been putting in, all the things she’d been trying on and finding not to fit, were done in an attempt to make sure that the people around her would continue to like her, would continue to approve of her, and would help her feel safe by (in some way I didn’t understand) having her back.  “It’s important that they think well of me, that they don’t criticize me.  I need to know they like me” was her mantra, and it didn’t seem to be doing her much good.

Rather than getting clear about who she is at this point in her life, she had gotten very clear about what it would take to make sure people like her.  And what it was taking was the constant effort to water down anything authentic about her and to become a bland and “one size fits all” kind of woman in her attempt to be acceptable to everyone.  This women could be living a dynamic and much more rewarding life, however as long as being liked by everyone is her goal, she doesn’t dare do anything outside that tight little box of hers; after all, someone might not approve.

This conversation puts me in mind of something one of my mentors said recently –   “I’m not here to make friends; I’m here to make a difference.”  She has reached that way of thinking as a result of doing very deep internal work, work that has allowed her to create a profound, loving, and trusting relationship with herself.  That relationship in place, she has ceased to be tossed around by the opinions of others.  She has learned to trust her own thoughts, feelings, and actions; she’s happy to have people like her, but it isn’t essential to her sense of well-being.  A place we could all afford to be. . . . .

A couple of days later I had a call asking me why, if my event is about women, I have a man who will be co-leading a break-out class on relationships.  “Well,” I responded carefully to ensure understanding, “because men are part of our world, and women often have relationships with men, and this particular man will be speaking, along with his wife, about how couples can heal broken trust.  Does that answer your question?”  “Yeah,” was the slightly surly retort, “well, what about lesbian relationships?”  For God’s sake, broken trust is broken trust.  Thank you for calling and have a nice day.

I’m shaking my head here.  Are we really still stuck in this feminine vs. masculine perspective?  Are we really still looking for ways to blame someone for the state of things rather than to look, together, for avenues through which the issues that plague us, issues that will never be healed through political action or military force, can be healed, resolved once and for all?

The only way (my perspective here) true healing of anything that harms/wounds/kills and leaves anyone scared, hungry, and homeless can occur is through the authentic and enthusiastic integration of the masculine (which we need and we all carry) and the feminine (which we need and we all carry), both in the external world and within each of us.  The planet is desperately out of balance in the direction of the masculine (which, as stated above, we need and we carry) and it’s in balancing it effectively with the feminine (without apology I might add) that we can find the avenues for genuine healing that we are blind to when so out of balance.  The male brain, so I’m told, is wired for information and action.  The female brain for connection and relationship.  Focused solely on the info and action thing, men can often take action and think about it later.  That can result in action for action’s sake with no truly meaningful result.  Women, on the other hand, often learn to keep their “gifts” quiet and in the background, being wise, intuitive, compassionate, but without translating those gifts into meaningful action.

The key (again, my perspective) is the integration of both, an integration that can lead to what I think of as “inspired action”; action that has been inspired by wisdom, compassion, and intuitive and spiritual awareness.

And isn’t inspired action what can heal the planet and all of us, her inhabitants?

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Well, I’ve just come face-to-face with another aspect of The Story that can function
like fly paper to the soul – keeping us stuck and flailing, lots of activity
but going pretty much nowhere.  Here’s what I mean – I learned early in life to handle everything myself.  I learned that I shouldn’t expect support, that it was unlikely that anyone would be willing to help me unless I could come up with large amounts of cash in advance, that my needs, both personal and professional, were of little or no importance to anyone else and that I had to be willing and able to do it all by myself.

So, there’s The Story and for many years I lived that story to the tiniest
detail.  And I got stuck there in fine fashion, turning down offers of assistance (asking myself “what do they want?  What are they going to ask for in return?  What’s the catch?”) and expecting myself, all alone, to create the same quality results generated by individuals who had talented teams to support them.

(Now, let me add here that, as a tiny child, I used to watch Lone Ranger re-runs and
I idolized this handsome stranger committed to justice and to doing the right thing.  But, as I think about him now, I realize that I don’t remember ever seeing him without his pal and sidekick Tonto who provided all sorts of services that allowed that masked man to focus on what he was there to do.  He was not “Lone” at all; he had a loyal assistant.  No wonder he got so much done.)

I struggled for years, wondering why my results paled in comparison to those
accomplished by teachers whose message was no more meaningful than my own, but
who took advantage of the range of skills available through their team
members.  “But I am alone.  I have to do it alone.  I don’t have the time, money, confidence, flexibility to create a team” were my excuses.  But the real barrier to my asking for help was that, at that time, I was sure deep in my gut that I didn’t deserve help.  And so I stayed stuck in the trap (remember the fly paper?) of knowing
that my path was a lonely one, and that I was tasked with figuring it all out
myself and wearing every damn hat there was, no matter how badly they fit.

It all began to turn around when I found the courage to hire a coach to help me
move out of all that small thinking and into a much larger internal arena.  I will remember forever the feeling I had when I first hired a virtual assistant.
It felt like a massive step, almost dangerous; but the rush of (I don’t
know what to call the feeling) that came upon realizing that I now had someone
who would help me (sure, I pay her but so what?) when I was facing tasks I
didn’t know how to do, didn’t want to do, didn’t do well, almost brought me to
my knees.

I know this may sound silly, like no big deal.
But, given my background, it was and is sometimes still a very big deal.  And this week someone whose help I never expected approached me to offer to assist with an aspect of marketing that I’m not skilled in.  For a brief moment, I found myself thinking “But, why?  What do you want?” and then quickly I remembered that by accepting her generous offer not only do I get something I need, but she gets to expand her own range of skill and experience.  And that’s how it is when we’re committed to collaboration and to being of service.  Everyone wins.

Are you winning?  Are you asking for what you need?   Who can help you win? Are you looking for the opportunities to be of service that are all around you?  Who needs your help

Asking and answering the questions above can open a portal deep inside, a door that
can lead to a profound kind of success that quickly becomes a way of showing up
in the world.  Try these simple steps to get started:

*Look
for ways you can collaborate with someone else so that you both get what you need.  Everyone wins.

*If you need the services of an assistant and money’s tight, contact your local college or university and ask about students who are available as interns.  You can get cutting-edge services and the intern gets experience and possibly class credit.  Everyone wins.

*Get clear about what kind of assistance you need, and ask your network, your tribe who they know who can provide it.  You get what you need, the assistant you find gets to help as part of what you’re doing and gets more experience, and your tribe gets to be of service.  Everyone wins.

*Consider what you can offer as a “thank you” for help that’s been offered as a gift.  I have given tickets to my upcoming events, copies of any of my books, CDs, anything that is an expression of who I am and a meaningful gift to the person who’s offered to help.  Everyone wins.

*Practice asking for what you need.  Start with simple things and with the understanding that by asking you give another person the opportunity to give and to be of service.  Everyone grows, and everyone wins.

I remind myself (and my clients) regularly that if we don’t ask for what we need,
we don’t get to complain when we don’t get it.   Take responsibility for asking for help, and you’ll get to take full possession of the joy of getting it.

                                                         The Dalai Lama

 Join me and several extraordinary speakers on October 15 and 16 in Denver, Colorado USA for Women as Leaders, Women as Healers: find your power, change the world , a life-changing 2-day event designed to remind you of who you REALLY are, the depth of your TRUE purpose, the financial success you REALLY deserve, and the power you carry as an Agent of Sacred Change in the world.

Women as Leaders, Women as Healers focuses on the power women bring to the world when they recognize, honor, and express the gifts that are inherent in feminine energy.  In many ancient cultures women were revered as healers and spiritual advisors, acknowledged as carriers of many gifts that are essential to the well-being of any culture.  Those roles haven’t changed, and women are now being called to step forward in new and deeper ways to bring balance, healing, and resolution to the many issues across the planet that will never be healed or resolved through political action or military force. 

www.thinkinglikethebigdogs.com/small

 So many of us learn, early in life, to feel small, “less-than” and unlikely to create the massive success we deserve, and the world-changing difference we are here to make.  Join us and step out of limitation and into the power, wisdom, and money-attracting gifts that make you a life-and-world-changing goddess

 www.thinkinglikethebigdogs.com/small