I recently had an experience that reminded me in a soul-touching way of the power of a community of women.  I was struggling with a challenging situation involving the health  of one of my adult children, and it had begun to feel as if there were precious few places I could turn for support myself without burdening someone else with concerns that could be tough to get out from under.The situation has several layers and, especially when I’m tired or frustrated, can feel overwhelming.  Reluctantly and in response to an inquiry from a new friend, I mentioned that there is an ongoing situation that requires emotional energy and attention, and that involves one of my kids.  I gave no details, however this woman is clearly gifted with lots of intuitive wisdom which led her to probe a bit further (that’s what we do as women, much to the consternation of many men).  To make a long story short, the next thing I knew she was organizing circles of support in various locations and offering me her own attention when I might need it.  At the same time, across the country, a group of women had stepped up to assist with another of the layers of this situation and had done so behind the scenes, expecting nothing in return. I was, and remain, touched at a deep level to experience such support, largely from relative strangers.

This put me in mind of the power we as women bring to any situation, especially when we unite behind a common cause. As carriers of the gifts of the feminine, we are the nurturers, the supporters, the healers; we bring the balm of compassion everywhere we go, and every situation in which we find ourselves can change for the better when we choose to express the gifts we bring in an open and unapologetic way. It is through these gifts that we notice what needs to be done, what needs to change for the well-being of everyone, and we then go about the business of creating those changes.  We find it easy to step up when we see a situation where our help can make a difference, where life can be made better for those involved.  We easily share our time and energy to support those around us, often without any personal connection to the situation.  The gift of compassion that dwells in the feminine heart rises to the surface whenever we learn of a need that must be addressed.

What would life be like if we chose to step up in that same way on a global level?  How might things change if women everywhere united to bring their power, wisdom, compassion, and awareness to the myriad situations across the planet that will never be healed through politics or military force?  What if women in truly disadvantaged circumstances around the world knew they could count on a massive network of women everywhere who would stand in the gap for them, providing emotional, spiritual, and financial support and offering wisdom and insight regarding their situations?  Life, as this beleagured planet knows it, would change completely and profound transformation would be in the air everywhere.

We as women are the healers.  I believe we are being called to step up in new and deeper ways to bring that healing to the world.  I believe we are called to move into a larger purpose, a purpose in which we choose actively to live every moment as the leaders and healers we are called to be.  Concerned that you can’t make a real difference by yourself?  There’s a profound Ethiopian proverb that speaks directly to that concern: “When spider webs join together, they can tie up a lion”.  When we come together with peace and healing as our mutual mission, we become a force that can’t be dismissed. 

Consider forming a group in your community that has a specific issue in mind that needs the kind of healing women bring.  Notice how your own life changes as you recognize yourself as a conduit for healing and an agent of sacred change.

In my most recent posting we looked at what happens when a woman allows her own feminine energy and the gifts inherent in her to be overshelmed or diminished by the masculine energy that may be all around her.  I mentioned  the women I’ve worked with and interviewed for my latest book, The Bitch, The Crone, and The Harlot, who told me that they felt invisible, as if they had no real value, as if people looked through them instead of connecting with them, especially as they moved into ahd through the midpoint of their lives.  Today I want to offer a few tips for bringing the power, wisdom, and sensual awareness of the feminine into all areas of life, a practice that makes “invisible” much less likely.

*Develop subtle yet clear ways to demonstrate the many ways your feminine perspective contributes to the desired outcome in any situation.  Remember that you bring more than half of what’s necessary for healing, resolution, success, well being, and joy in any circumstance.  Assiting others to recognize the truth of this (without resorting to harsh and ball busting behavior) makes you both relevent and undismissable.

*Women tend to think and speak in terms of connection and relationship.  Men tend to be wired to focus on gathering information and taking action.  In order to bring your sperspective to the men in your life (and have it respected), practice integrating a little of their language into your own when you communicate with them.  This will help them feel heard and understood while assisting them to move more in the direction of the connection that’s so important to you.

*Choose to operate from the strength of who you are, not the weakness.  Allowing your emotions to run rampant will only result in being shut out by those who are threatened by them.  You can live, love, and work as an agent of true transformation in your family, your community, and your workplace by helping to establish real balance between the male perspective and the female viewpoint.

*It’s essential to take pride in all that you are as a woman.  It’s when we begin to doubt ourselves and our value that we feel insignificant and insecure.  Remember that in ancient times it was the women (most often the older women) who served as the oracles, healers, and sources of insight.  That’s still your role.

More tips next time.  Take these to heart; living them will create positive change in the way you feel about and understand yourself, and in how those around you respond to who you are and the  extraordinary gifts you bring as a female.

I recently spoke to a group of professional women who work in a markedly male dominated industry.  They had asked me to talk with them about how women can thrive and be successful in an environment that, in subtle and not so subtle ways, discounts and dismisses the natural inclinations of women.

 The stories they shared about being left out of meetings, being given only lip service  when they shared their ideas, being talked over by those larger and louder than they brought to mind my own similar experiences and the pain and impact on my confidence those experiences had caused.  Several of these women talked about having worked hard to function like the men around them, talking tough, being inflexible, even threatening in order to get their way.  A couple of others spoke about their fall back style (if being macho didn’t work) being to manipulate, using those feminine wiles we all learned about early in life.  As the storytelling came to an end, I asked the group if either of these techniques had helped create an environment in which they felt respected, acknowledged, and valued. The silence in the room was thick; finally a few of the women began shaking their heads, indicating that neither of those extremes had proven useful in an positive and ongoing way. And the rest of the group admitted to feeling frustrated and relatively insignificant when in the presence of the men who dominated their environment and their industry (and in some cases, maybe their lives).

We were talking about an environment sorely out of balance.  Strong on the masculine, not so strong on the feminine. Any environment, any situation lacking balance can only, eventually if not immediately, reach a critical point at which the choices are change (get back into balance), or fall apart.  It’s much like a chair that has had a leg removed; it still looks like a chair, still has the same purpose, but can no longer function as intended because, in lacking balance, it lacks the stability needed in order to perform.  Balance is notably absent in many industries, many if not most governments, numerous religions, and certainly in many families. True balance requires equal emphasis on the gifts of the masculine and the gifts of the feminine.  By valuing only (or primarily) what males bring to the workplace or anywhere else, the possibility of achieving real and comprehensive success in both life and work becomes only a fantasy.  By focusing only or primarily on the inherent gifts of the feminine in work and life, we ensure that there will be as much imbalance.  To be fully present and fully functioning, we must choose to recognize, honor, and embrace our inherent gifts (whatever our gender) while developing those that may not be as natural to us but are as important.  Men who know how to gather relevant information and take effective action but who haven’t developed the ability to intuit, to nurture, to operate from a place of compassion will find themselves feeling incomplete (whether they express that or not); women who focus only on their natural ability to connect, relate, comfort, and nurture may find themselves less confident than they need to be when it comes to taking action and making things happen for the greater good.

In my next posting I’ll share ideas about how women can bring crucial balance to life by honoring the feminine while learning to develop greater inner balance between their own feminine and masculine energies.

Through history women have served as sources of great wisdom for those in positions of power who recognized that profound wisdom and insight are natural gifts of the femimine. Despite the reliance developed on these founts of insight, women have rarely learned to think of themselves as carriers of the gifts that bring healing and resolution to issues that will never be healed through political action or military force.  Due, in part, to women’s natural gift for nurturing and society’s tendency to see that gift as less significant than an aggressive pursuit of a desired outcome, many women begin early in life to consider themselves as part of the backdrop of life, elements destined to remain in the background providing nurturance and comfort to those destined (biologically) to make things happen.  What we forget to remember is that it is through our gifts of leadership, healing, comfort, intuition, and nurturing that we can serve as conduits for Divine expression.

QUOTE OF THE DAY

Some of us are becoming the men we wanted to marry. — Gloria Steinem

Women have often learned to think of themselves as “less than” when it comes to the opportunity to create the lives they want to live. “Less than” refers to the disparity between men and women as society views their respective effectiveness. While men are often brought up to believe that, while life can be challenging, if they simply put their heads down and charge forward they can achieve what they want.  Women, on the other hand, often learn as little girls not to expect too much of themselves and, in some small,  nagging way, to expect to fail.  Hence the sense of  the feminine being less than the masculine – less capable, less tenacious, less courageous (except, perhaps, in childbirth), less effective, and less equipped to succeed.  This places a huge burden on both males and females (no matter the age group); men don’t learn to allow themselves to fail (not without great emotional turmoil), and women don’t learn to expect to succeed.  We could, if we chose, learn a great deal from each other.

Learning to think like the Big Dogs meaning learning to take charge of one’s thoughts, feelings and self-talk, in order to take full advantage of the power we carry within us.

According to the latest polls of government-sanctioned NGOs, women have a larger and larger space in the power hierarchies if the world. We can all be part of this shift if we discover our own power.

While there are those who will disagree, I believe this is due to two crucial shifts in both our perceptions and our awareness.  First, as women choose (and it is a choice) to think of themselves as expressions of the Divine Feminine and Its gifts, they are naturally moved to step forward in new and perhaps deeper ways than in the past; second, on a largely unconscious level, society is beginning to recognize, although reluctantly in some circles, that we as a species have been out of balance for some time and that by creating space for the considerable gifts of the feminine to be brought to the global table we are choosing to move back into the balance that can bring true healing, resolution, and peace to a haggard planet.