Posted by: bellazon | November 23, 2011

As Good as it Gets. . . or is it?

As Good As It Gets – or is it?

 As women, we carry naturally a huge range of gifts intended to bring balance, harmony, and compassion to the planet and to every situation in which we find ourselves.  If you attended my recent live event, Women as Leaders, Women as Healers, you may remember the conversation we had about those gifts and how bringing them, without apology, to the world changes everything, and about how holding back (and apologizing for who we are) serves only to keep the planet (and ourselves) stuck in imbalance and scarcity.

 Among all those brilliant and life-enhancing gifts, however, there often lurks a tendency that may masquerade as a gift, but that in reality is simply another way we dishonor ourselves.  That tendency is the willingness to settle, to accept less than we deserve and are capable of, and then to tell ourselves that we should be thankful for all the “less-than” things in our lives and we shouldn’t want more.

This, my dear friends, is what I think of (with great respect of course) as a crock.

Here’s what I mean – it seems that many of us have learned to expect disappointment and limitation, if not downright failure, as we move toward what we say we want.  It seems, as well, that many of us have learned to tell ourselves that whatever we have accomplished is as good as it gets.  And that’s the point at which we tend to stop, to tell ourselves that we’ve reached the end of what’s possible for us and it’s time to settle for the status quo and quit moving forward.  And then our dreams begin to wither and starve.

That idea that there’s a limit to what’s possible for us comes from feeling small and unworthy of great and consistent success and it is, frankly, a lie.  It’s a lie that there’s a limit to what you get to be/do/have, and it’s a lie that you’re small and unworthy.  If you buy into those lies, your life and your work will reflect that untruth.

If, however, you refuse the lie and welcome the eternal understanding that you are an expression of the Divine and your opportunities are unlimited, everything you experience will reflect that truth.

There’s a poignant story about a man who found a rich vein of ore that was making him good money.  He got excited about the possibilities, bought expensive mining equipment, and began working the vein with a lot of passion.  Then it seemed that the vein dried up; nothing more was being found and he began losing money.  At that point he told himself that what he had gotten was as good as it gets and he sold his equipment and went home, disappointed and humiliated.  Later the individual who had purchased the land from our “let’s settle for less than we want” friend hired a geologist to explore the area.  The geologist came back to him with the news that the vein had not disappeared, but had simply moved about 3 feet over.  He resumed the drilling that the prior owner had begun (but in a slightly different location), hit the mother lode and became a very wealthy man.

Where, in your life, have you stopped a mere 3 feet from your goal?  Where have you said “I can’t; it’s too hard; I don’t have the money or the time; it’s not working; no one understands – my situation is different; what if I try and fail?” or any number of other “I think I’ll just settle” statements?  Where have you told yourself that it’s important to make peace with what you have and quit trying for more, when what you really meant was “I’m scared; I’m not sure I can pull this off”?

Of course we must be grateful for what we have at every moment.  That doesn’t mean that we stop the process of growth.  In his remarkable book, The Science of Getting Rich, Wallace Wattles states that every time we want more it’s the life force seeking to express itself in greater ways.  Who are we to get in the way of that divine expression?

Someone once said (sorry, I don’t remember who it was) that when we settle for less than we want, we end up getting even less than we’ve settled for.  I’ve lived that one, and I’m not willing to give the small-minded process of settling another moment of my time or ounce of my energy.

Where do you stop yourself?  What if your success is only a step or two away?





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